Last year while taking Yoga Teacher Training part of our Om-work was to write a letter to someone important in our life and say the positive things you would want them to hear, so we don’t miss our chance. At that time I struggled to put what I wanted to express into words, as the person who most needed to hear positive things from me was someone I was (and still am) having difficulties with. As we started to write content for this blog, and I tried to practice writing without being worried about it coming out perfectly, this letter poured out. While I wrote this letter specifically to someone in my life, after I read it I thought that it could be relevant to anyone in our lives facing challenges.
A Letter To You,
You are a good person. You are loved. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone. No matter what challenges life hands you always remember that you did the best you could at the time, with what you had. If it ever gets too much do not be afraid to reach out, I am always right there with you. I have felt like a failure, broken and beaten down by life before too, you are not alone. We do the best that we can with what we have. Sometimes this means breaking down and starting all over again, with school, work or relationships (especially with yourself).No matter what challenges life hands you, always remember that you did the best you could Click To Tweet
Do not be fooled by the shiny outward appearance of someone else’s life. Some people hide their weaknesses and what they think are failures in shame. In the long run this will not serve them. Do not feel shame for anything in your life. Shame is what makes us keep secrets and secrets that drag us down and make us feel small are dangerous to the soul. If you can, share your struggles. You will always find others with similar struggles who can offer help or just listen. Talking to people who are in the same place as you in life can give your feelings validation, and we all deserve to feel validated. I have spent time on different wavelengths than the people who were close to me, it can be a very lonely time. I had to go looking for support outside of my normal circle to feel heard and get help with explaining my emotions to the people in my life. I am not talking about therapists (though they can be helpful in their own way). I am talking about people who have dealt with similar life events, challenges or emotions.
While the world can be full of cruelty it is also a beautiful place. Without surrendering yourself, strive to be as kind as possible. You may find judgement from other people as you go through life. Ignore them, they are hiding from themselves. Their judgement is not a reflection of you, it is a reflection of the difficulties they have with themselves. You will also find beautiful connections that lift you up and help you gain a different perspective to add to your happiness in life. Remind yourself that no relationship is set in stone, the nature of people is that we are always changing. It can be surprising when people turn out to be different than you thought as time moves along. If it is not harmful to your physical or emotional body, you choose what you tolerate. But always remember you are deserving of love and respect.Always remember you are deserving of love and respect. Click To Tweet
It can be a wonderful thing to be able to help others. Sometimes that means being with someone in silence, letting them know while you may not understand at the time, they are not alone. However try not to let yourself be blind to those who continually harm you out of an inability to see their own struggles that they need to seek help for. One truth I have learned is that you cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves. We all have a limit of how much we can give to someone who is not able to give back. Do not feel upset or ashamed when you reach that breaking point with someone. If you are depleted you cannot help anyone. You need to be able to put your own well being first, always, to continue to help others.
I do not pretend to know it all. I only wish to share a few things I have learned along the way, not to tell you how to live your life. My only hope is that you can face less pain (mentally or physically, if you leave the mental pain too long it can become physical). Another truth I know in life; sometimes we cannot learn until we have gone through the lesson ourselves. So for that I offer a hug when times get tough, a hand to hold when you feel lost (not to pull you back if you are not ready, just so you know you are not alone), someone who will always be on your side (we do not have to agree on everything to be on the same side) and listen without judgement, and unconditional love no matter what.